you have been found guilty of several hundred accounts of fraud and racketeering
that you further used to commit intellectual property theft
on a scale the likes of which this court hasn't seen since the back crash incident of 1985.
What if anything do you have to say in your defence?
-though it's opposite day.
it is not in fact opposite day. that is in january.
and even if it were it would only absolve you of the crimes that you committed on that specific day
and not all the other times you broke the law on every other day of the year.
furthermore opposite day does not cover crimes to this extent
even if it actually covered robbery to begin with which it does not.
i have an uno reverse card.
for one this is not a game of uno.
secondly if it was a game of uno you would only be reversing the charge of your latest crime
not the hundreds of ones before it
and that's true whether you were using the uno official rules OR even the unofficial rule set.
what about the statute of limitations?
we are applying the statute of limitations.
that's why you're only getting 20 years in prison.
if we weren't, it would be closer to a thousand.
i demand a retrial.
you can't have a retrail without new evidence
and any new evidence could only extend your prison time.
besides, you have to first attend prison for at least 48 hours
before you're even allowed a retrial.
i wanna pay my bail.
there is no bail for white collar crime.
even if there was your bail would literally millions of dollars
and you don't have the funds to pay it.
i wanna investigate corruption in the police force.
WHY ARE YOU TELLING YOUR JUDGE THIS?
you're
asking for a longer sentence.
that's it. take this fridgeing idiot from me
before i make a special case for the death sentence.
lock them up and throw away the key.
because damn sure there's no way in hell this dog is getting parole.
another reason to avoid that community like the plague.
